


The Ink That Binds Us

by captaindominoes



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fox's Tattoos, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captaindominoes/pseuds/captaindominoes
Summary: It's never been easy for Quinlan to get a read on Fox, even after the many times they've fallen into bed together. This time, they share an intimacy neither of them are expecting.
Relationships: CC-1010 | Fox/Quinlan Vos
Comments: 26
Kudos: 137





	The Ink That Binds Us

“You know, Foxy, you’ve never told me what your tattoos represent.” 

The two of them lay together in a post-sex reverie, drifting through the haze of late afternoon. Their bodies were lax, limbs heavy and sated, and for once, Fox couldn’t find it in himself to admonish his bed partner for the nickname he so despised. As he had done many times before, Fox took a moment to silently remind himself that if he truly held so much disdain for the man in question, he would not have fallen into bed with him so many times. At the present, Quinlan showed no signs of breaking the rare, hallowed intimacy that came just after Fox did, nor was Fox inclined to remove himself from the comfort of his rack. 

“They’re decorative.” 

“I know these are.” Fingers came to trace the simple black bands on Fox’s upper bicep. Turning his head in the direction of his partner, Fox met Quinlan’s gaze just before he ducked down to press his lips to the ink. 

“There’s not much else to say.” 

“There has to be some kind of story. Like this one is the Coruscant Guard crest, yeah?” Quinlan’s touch danced up to the complex design sitting just above the bands. “I recognize it from your armor.” 

Fox shifted, turning from his side to his stomach. The sheets pooling around his waist slid down with the movement. He could feel Quinlan’s lascivious gaze drink in the bare skin that was revealed to him. “Yes, it is. I got it done when I was promoted to Commander.” 

“Mm.” Quinlan let out an interested hum and settled down, draping his arm across Fox’s back in a way that was reminiscent of cuddling. Fox rarely indulged himself in that particular intimate activity, but Quinlan was always poking and prodding and testing the waters of what Fox would allow. Though he was tense, he did not push Quinlan away, and that spurred his bed partner on. 

“I hardly ever get to see these. The circles, on your back. What do they represent?” 

“They aren’t for you to look at,” Fox replied tersely, now drawing himself up to turn his bare back away. Quinlan protested, tugging on Fox’s arm until he reluctantly laid back down. 

“I didn’t realize it was a sensitive subject.”

In all the shuffling around, Fox found himself closer to Quinlan then he had been before, but he had little room to protest when two strong arms came to wrap around him. Engulfed by sudden warmth, Fox felt unexplainable emotion bloom and expand in his chest. Perhaps it was the softness with which Quinlan held him, perhaps it was the memories which he had invoked, or perhaps it was the barest touches of skin on skin that did it, but the words seemed to march out on their own in the wake of Quinlan’s question. 

“They represent my brothers.” 

Closing his eyes, Fox leaned a fraction of an inch forward, and Quinlan met him halfway. His cheek rested on Quinlan’s chest, just below his chin, and his face was turned towards his neck. 

“They’re my squadmates,” Fox clarified when Quinlan remained silent, deep in thought. 

“One for each?” 

“Yes. Five of us in a squad, so one for each of them. That was before ARC training.” The words oozed out from him into the warmth between himself and Quinlan, and for all Fox had been apprehensive, the afternoon air did not judge him. 

Quinlan’s arms tightened around Fox as his hand fell to the place between his shoulder blades, where the four circles adorned the knobs of his spine in a neat column. Three were simple black circles, but the last was completely filled. “Why is this one different?” 

Fox knew the question was coming, but his chest tightened anyway. No one had ever asked about his tattoos, not even the artist who Fox had gone to for cheap. No one had ever seen him in this particular state of vulnerability. Fox found that he struggled to find an answer that didn’t feel hollow in the moment. 

“The top three are Cody, Wolffe, and Bly. The bottom one…” Fox faltered, but after already revealing so much, he found it easier to simply suffer the rest of the way through. “He’s dead.” 

“I’m sorry.” The platitude came quickly, but it was no less sincere for its rush. Quinlan’s lips pressed to the top of Fox’s curls. “I’ve lost family. It’s never easy.” 

“We didn’t know each other well back then. I wasn’t like I am now.” Fox leaned forward, into Quinlan’s warmth and the memories. “I was more distant. Kept everyone at an arm’s length. When he died… Things changed for me.” 

“You loved him,” Quinlan said simply. “He was your brother. It’s hard to lose someone like that. No one could blame you for grieving.” 

“I did, in my own way.” Fox rolled his shoulders. The ink marring his skin rippled with the motion. “He’s gone now. Or marching far away, however they say it.” 

“That saying reminds me of what my Master used to tell me,” Quinlan said. “The Jedi believe that we are all connected through the living Force, even those that have passed on.” 

Fox watched Quinlan shift and sigh, and finally, with a huff of acceptance, he turned on his side to fully face his partner and curl against him. “Is that what you believe?” 

A delighted smile spread across Quinlan’s face. He cradled Fox loosely enough so that he wouldn’t feel suffocated, but tightly enough so that he would feel comforted. “It brought me comfort when I thought about the people I cared about who had died. It was nice to think they were still there with me, even if I couldn’t see them or talk to them or reach out and touch them. Master Tholme would tell me to meditate, which I was never very good at because I hated not being able to move. He told me if I was very quiet, and I sat very still, I would be able to hear them in the beating of my heart. And you know, I never quite understood what he meant until I was older.” 

At Fox’s questioning look, Quinlan elaborated.

“Through the Force, we are connected with all things. By focusing your mind, you can feel the energy of all the living things around you. It’s not really about actually listening to your heartbeat. That just gives you something to focus on so you can’t be easily distracted. It’s a very calming technique. I’ve come to appreciate meditation, especially on days where my mind is restless and won’t settle. Supposedly, my people have deeper and stronger connections with the Force than most others.” 

Fox nodded slowly as he listened. It was easy to become entranced by Quinlan’s smooth voice as he watched streaks of afternoon sun play across his dark skin, highlighting the divots and valleys of the strong muscle bunching up underneath. This was about as close to meditation as Fox could get. 

“You’re a Kiffar. Your people have special abilities.” 

“Yes, that’s right.” Quinlan chuckled and traced a senseless pattern over Fox’s shoulder. “Why do I get the feeling you know more than you’re letting on?” 

Fox shot Quinlan a skeptical look, searching his face for any clues Quinlan was holding back on the fact that he could read minds, but there were none. Observant, yes; but a mind reader he was not. 

“I wanted to know more.” 

“I’m flattered, Foxy, really. I am.” Quinaln pressed a few small kisses to Fox’s temple. Fox went grumbling to lay his head back down on Quinlan’s chest. “I can sense more than most Force users can. I can touch things and feel the emotion of what’s already passed. Objects, and people of course, have memories. I just have the ability to access them.” 

Curiosity bloomed in Fox, prompting the next question out of his mouth: “What do you sense from me?”

Quinlan hummed and carded his fingers through Fox’s curls absentmindedly, his thumb rubbing over the shaved part of Fox’s skull soothingly. “You’ve always been harder for me to read. Some people naturally have better shielding, or emotions that are simply not as potent. That’s why you were intriguing to me. I saw it as a challenge. I wanted to know more. From you, I usually get a deep sense of pride, loyalty, and strength. I can’t get clear pictures from you, not like I can from some people, but I can sense strong emotions. I would have to focus deeply to get any fledgling memories.”

Fox stilled in Quinlan’s arms and frowned. “Can you sense emotions when we’re…?”

“When we’re… oh!” A laugh bubbled out of Quinlan’s chest. “Sometimes. It depends. Usually I’m too distracted to focus on feeling you through the Force when I have you in my arms right here.” He winked, and Fox rolled his eyes. “But if you’re feeling particularly strong emotions, I can feel it.”

“Great to know,” Fox mumbled. His face was on fire at the thought of what exactly Quinlan had been able to gather from their infrequent-turned-weekly hookups. 

“All Force users can sense severe changes in emotion, if that makes you feel any better. It’s not just me.”

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Silence fell over them for a moment, Quinlan lost in contemplation. His fingers continuously stroked Fox’s hair of their own accord. It was more relaxing than Fox would’ve admitted out loud. 

“Would you like to know what I felt when I touched your tattoos?”

Fox’s head snapped up so quickly he almost bashed Quinlan on the nose. “What?”

“I didn’t want to say anything in case it offended you.” Quinlan’s hand paused. His face was completely open and placid. There was no hint that he was making fun of Fox or trying to embarrass him, only genuine kindness. 

It took a moment for Fox to settle back down, but when he did, he could feel his defenses sliding off him like rain on plastoid. He wasn’t sure if it was Quinlan’s Force powers or just something uniquely him that could break him down so easily. 

“Go ahead.”

A warm palm settled over Fox’s back. The first tattoo, sitting a few inches below the back of Fox’s neck, heated quickly under Quinlan’s gentle touch. 

“Mm. This one is Cody,” Quinlan murmured. His lips were pressed up against Fox’s ear, and they brushed his skin with every word. “Tattoos are easier for me to read. The ink is binding. It’s a physical reminder of the emotions you feel. For Cody, you feel… reverence. Pride. You look up to him. He’s been a teacher for you. I can see him helping you. Carrying you. You must’ve been hurt.” A smile broke out against Fox’s neck. “He helped you paint your armor for the first time.”

Fox jerkily nodded his agreement to Quinlan’s assessments. He hoped Quinlan couldn’t tell he was shaking. It was eerie hearing his own feelings and memories through the filter of another person. Part of him wanted to shove Quinlan away, tell him to leave, and never let him touch his skin again for fear of what he might find out. Ultimately, the part of Fox that was undeniably, insatiably curious won out. 

The caress of Quinlan’s fingers moved lower, stroking the edges of the next lowest empty circle. Fox resisted the urge to shiver. 

“Wolffe.” Quinlan pressed a tiny, calming kiss to the shell of Fox’s ear. “This one is very strong. You’re closest to him. You have very clear, fond memories associated with him. Very old memories, too. Those tend to be the most faded, but not yours. You were together with him as a young child, a baby. You slept in the same crib.” 

“Cribmates,” Fox filled in, though it seemed moot considering Quinlan already knew more about Fox than he could ever hope to tell. “They pair us off as children. We sleep two to a crib until we’re three standard years, and then they separate us.”

“But you’re still close with him. You have very intense memories associated with him. You sparred with him. Shared meals. You were with him, in the infirmary.” Silence stretched out between them. “That was when he lost his eye. You were the one who got him the cybernetic.”

Not a single soul, not even Wolffe himself, knew that it was Fox who had spent a week begging and groveling at the feet of anyone who owed him a favor to get the replacement eye for his brother. As far as the GAR was concerned, a command clone was perfectly good with one eye as long as his brain still worked. Wolffe would’ve had to suffer in silence with a debilitating disability, never able to live up to his full potential and always sidelined for a man who wasn’t damaged. 

Fox had been there when Wolffe had come out of surgery, overcome with emotion. Still drugged up as he was, he hadn’t had enough filter to stop the outpouring of appreciation for his donor. It was better for him to think that man was his General, Fox had thought, lest he know what his brother had to go through to get it. 

“That was after I got the tattoo.”

“It still represents your bond with Wolffe. Before or after, it doesn’t matter. The Force doesn’t operate on a linear timescale like you and I do.” A soft exhale, and then Quinlan’s hand inched further down. “Bly, of course. Your bond of friendship is very secure. You love him, but you also feel very loved around him. He comforts you.”

The hesitation in Quinlan’s voice told Fox he saw something more intimate than that, but was purposely omitting it so as not to embarrass him. With his pristine reputation to uphold, the Commander of the Coruscant Guard would be hard pressed to admit he liked to cuddle with his little brother when he was feeling particularly down. 

“What do you feel from the last one?”

Every second that ticked by without an answer made Fox more and more anxious. He should’ve known what Quinlan was sensing from him; after all, they were his memories and emotions. Even so, he couldn’t seem to sort through the complex feelings swirling through him. 

“You weren’t there when he died,” Quinlan began slowly. “You harbor guilt over that. A lot of guilt. Cody had to tell you over comms. The tattoo came shortly after that. Drinking… you drank a lot. Was that the first time you experienced the death of one of your brothers?”

Quinlan’s hand was no longer laying on his back, and Fox knew that wasn’t something he had sensed. A combination of emotions-- anger, pain, loss, fury-- washed over Fox. He breathed them all out in one long exhale.

“I’ve seen brothers die. Seen the way the others mourn. I always felt detached from it. Until he died.”

“I’m sorry, Fox.” Quinlan’s cheek rested against the top of his head. “I’m sorry you weren’t able to mourn.”

Fox squeezed his eyes shut. His jaw was clenched tightly. As if he could feel it, and maybe he could, Quinlan cupped the back of Fox’s neck to ground him in his body. It worked, even if Fox felt overwhelmed in a way he hadn’t since the first time the needle had touched his skin. 

“I mourned him how I could.”

“That’s very honorable,” Quinlan said. His voice was soft and soothing to Fox’s frazzled nerves. “We cherish the ones we love by remembering them. As long as we keep them with us, they’re never really gone.”

Upon opening his eyes again, Fox could see the way the orangey-yellows of the setting Coruscant sun lit up their joined forms. His own skin was nearly bronze in the low light, painting him as a statue of flesh and blood. It was strangely vulnerable, to lie here uncovered with a man who knew his body better than any other person in the galaxy, and bare his heart just as naked in the same breath. The growing darkness of the room hid his physical features, but Quinlan didn’t need his eyes to see Fox for who he was. 

“They’re not just for decoration.”

Quinlan made a soft  _ hmm?  _ noise and shifted so he could see Fox’s face. “Oh?”

“The bands on my arm.” Fox looked back into Quinlan’s eyes, darkened by the fading sun. “There’s three. Thorn, Thire, and Stone. When they pass, I plan to fill them in too.” He paused a beat. “Unless I go first.”

Quinlan darted forward suddenly to press a smile to Fox’s lips, and Fox returned his soft peck in amusement. 

“What?”

“As if I’d let you go first, Foxy. Long as I’m around, you will be too.”

Fox flopped back down on Quinlan’s chest with a derisive snort. He could feel Quinlan’s teasing hands roaming his arms and back. Where he would usually smack them away, this time he let him explore and leaned into the soft vulnerability of sharing body and soul with this insufferable, ineffable, incredible man. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: captaindominoes


End file.
